夫妻英语笑话8则
JOKE 1Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily
JOKE 2
A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
JOKE 3
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you
JOKE 4
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!
JOKE 5
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. "
JOKE 6
A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks(打) him on the head with a frying pan. "What the hell was that for? " he asks. "That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it, " she replies. Don 't be silly, " he says. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races(赛马), Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on. " She seems satisfied at this, and she apologizes. Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails(打，俚语) him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around, he asks again, "What the hell was that for? " "Your fucking horse just phoned. "
JOKE 7
Wife to husband: you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss.
Husband: piss on him! Wife: you did and he fired you!
Husband: fuck him!
Wife: I did and you can go back to work tomorrow.
JOKE 8
A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules(骡子) and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws ". 英文的都来了 不错 有素质！
强劲的票房势头
[color=Black]强劲的票房势头从首映开始就显露出征兆，[url=http://www.17dianping.com.cn/][color=Black]手机窃听器[/color][/url]上映三天之后，该片票房超过3000万。上映两周以后，票房突破6000万，已经逼近港片门徒的内地总票房。迄今为止，[url=http://www.17dianping.com.cn/][color=Black]窃听器[/color][/url]打破这个纪录几乎已成定局。无巧不成书，伤城正是庄、麦二人编剧作品。业内如今猜测的悬念是，用多长的时间票房可以过亿。但[url=http://www.daydaytop.com.cn/go/12/][color=Black]手机监听器[/color][/url]不同于传统港产题材，麦、庄二位这次拿出的是一个关于商业犯罪的故事。由刘青云饰演的梁俊义是商务行动小组的一位主管，他与同事老杨真([url=http://www.daydaytop.com.cn/go/12/][color=Black]监听器[/color][/url])、网络天才林一祥 ，负责高层人员的办公及私人电话系统。
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